![]() No sleep, a few mins break while waiting for a patient to change her clothes. Two days ago was one of the worst calls I have ever had. Dulu, some people said about how we talk about God but not to God. I think maybe semua ni pon I should istikharah LJ. I want to slap myself and tell myself to wake up. Is it that simple LJ? To write a book? My book rack has become dusty. Many things happened since housemanship and MOship. It's just that the internet is a scary place, I just cannot write as freely as I wanted to especially when I think about medicolegal things and scammers. I haven't told you about this place where I am currently living. Something that does not kill you would probably make you, prawda? Should I proceed with this thing I am doing? Should I go to Kelantan? Should I go to that place in KL? Am I overestimating my persistence? I'm gonna take a walk LJ. When I think about that, it reminds me of how Allah won't give us something that we can't bear. As in for me, I do not know if I am that strong. Those parents who underwent them must be the strongest people. The date for next MEDEX is out and I kinda did something out of the ordinary as I have reached that age that I might need to think about whether I want to have a child past advanced maternal age? I am a paeds MO, LJ. For the past 2 weeks, I have been seriously thinking a bout my life. It is in fact, the matter of kudrat, focus and persistence which I am now lacking. Due to my inadequacy probably and how unpredictable the nature of my job is. I often get this uncomfortable feeling in my chest at work. I don't hold grudges against my junior colleagues, I just detect who is safe, and who has to be properly questioned to make sure the patients are safe. I can get really angry but after that, I'm okay. ![]() Especially when I am paired with some specialists who are more rigid than I am. My level of acceptability towards mistakes is low. When I'm working, even little things are important to me. ![]() The extent of the statement is infinite for me. He spoke about life and how important things are only important when you make them important. He just let us breathe and rest for an hour or so. Or can I do everything simultaneously? Can I LJ, can I? Finding a person, study for masters entrance, thinking about mama's condition? I'm tired LJ. Maybe now isn't a good time to find a person LJ. ![]() After that, I would tie a knot and throw them away. I feel like assembling everything and put them all onto a wrapping cloth and wrap them. I think who said that is inconsiderate but who am I to judge kan LJ? Hoho. I have heard people saying suicide is an easy way out. Sometimes, I feel like quitting everything and just stop. That wouldn't be a nice scene, would it? LJ. When I am not, I become snappy and hostile. I have to be in a good mood to interact with people. Alhamdulillah ala kulli haal (All thanks and praise be to Allah, in every circumstance).Hi LJ. You just beat everyone to it.Īnd this is where it begins. Who told you to wait to be happy? Be happy right now. Why do you have to wait until you're wealthy, until you're married, until you have a house. But what if you just skip that step and stop complaining right now. Wanna get married so they can stop complaining about being single/lonely. Wanna be happy so they can stop complaining about being sad. They wanna get rich so they can stop complaining about being poor. Like damn, all humans want to be able to do is stop complaining. That's what wins hearts and minds, the ones who get up regardless of the beating. As long as you're willing to stand in the ring, you haven't lost yet. If the dunya wants to take me out, i'm going to choose to go out happy. What goals do I need to set to stay proud.Įveryone can be negative and think ahh this and that. I think, what has happened that I need to be grateful for. Turning it around for me, starts with the past. It all hits but you know it will pass cos our natural state is not negativity. It really is a madness, lasts for like 10-15mins.
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